Archive for Toilet Humor
On Saving (Seltzer) Water at the Brooklyn Farmacy
Posted by: | CommentsLike most people, the Professor enjoys a treat now and again, and nothing hits the spot like an old-fashioned chocolate egg cream. And in Brooklyn, New York, there is now a great new place to have one, thanks in part to the assistance of the TV show Construction Intervention. The shop is called the Brooklyn Farmacy, and proprietor Peter Freeman was about to give up on his dream of opening a neighborhood ice cream shop in a beautiful 100 year-old pharmacy because of the daunting amount of renovations the building required.
A chance encounter with the casting director of the television show saved the day, and Peter agreed to let the crew of Construction Intervention renovate the shop for an episode of the show. The Farmacy’s electrical wiring was re-done, structural problems with the building were fixed, a long soda counter was installed, and two new bathrooms that now feature WaterSense-certified toilets and faucets from American Standard were built.
Having comfortable and inviting bathrooms was important to Peter, who wanted a safe, clean environment for neighborhood kids to wash their hands before digging into a slice of his strawberry-rhubarb pie. The Professor also notes that the new water-saving fixtures also compliment his eco-friendly philosophy of buying locally and sustainably made products.
Congratulations, Peter! The Professor tips his hat to you.
Dog Days of Summer
Posted by: | CommentsSummer is on its way, and in honor of the fun, more relaxed mood everyone finds themselves in this time of year, the Professor is giving in to an inner love of dogs. Maybe not an inner love of bathing dogs, but the convenient new OutReach bathroom faucet makes it really easy. And who doesn’t love a clip of an unbelievably cute dog being bathed with the pull-out faucet?
A Life and a Marriage Saved by the Champion 4 Toilet
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It’s likely that very few people make a hobby of reading toilet reviews the way the Professor does, but this take on the superior flushing ability of the Champion 4 up at HomeDepot.com is a must-read. Follow the link above for the touching story of how the virtually clog-free toilet kept an Atlanta resident out of federal prison and saved the life of a mother-in-law whose regular diet apparently consisted of “broccoli, cabbage, and gravel.” Enjoy.
Five Toilet Questions with Connecticut NPR Host Colin McEnroe
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Colin McEnroe hosts a talk show on the Connecticut Public Broadcasting Network and today, it’s all about toilets.
But first, Professor Toilet turned the tables and asked Colin a few questions:
Professor Toilet: How do you feel about the toilets in your home? Do your toilets work well?
Colin McEnroe: NO! I have a nagging, epic sense of of what Goethe called Toiletteschmerz (toilet sadness.) Neither one of my toilets really gets the job done. In fact, there’s a huge undocumented class of Americans who have to flush the toilet twice every time they poop. The U.S. Census Bureau should be asking about this.
My toilets are not cutting edge eco-toilets. They’re sort of the opposite. They’re old toilets that don’t work that well. Of course I, as toilet depositor, am old and don’t work that well either. So it’s the Circle of Life.
Professor Toilet: Indeed it is. What do you think of toilets that use less water?
Colin McEnroe: You mean really good toilets that flush with less water, right? See above. Asking me that is like asking some Neanderthal who hasn’t really mastered the art of making fire what he thinks of gas grills. I’m stuck in a previous toilet evolutionary period from the one you’re talking about.
I totally approve of water saving toilets, but they are, right now, a distant dream for me, like flying cars.
Professor Toilet: Do you own a plunger? And why, for Pete’s sake?
Colin McEnroe: I own a plunger for the same reason everyone else does: in case I am ever called up, hastily, to audition for a Three Stooges remake.
Actually, I’m pretty good with a plunger. I don’t want to go into details, but there’s something kind of orgasmic about the release that comes at the moment when effective plunging realizes its goal.
I can’t believe I wrote that.
Professor Toilet: Neither can we. And far be it from us to suggest other ways to achieve orgasmic release. Just so you know, you don’t really need a plunger when toilets like the Champion 4 can take down 1,000 grams in one flush. That’s 2.2 pounds, equal to about 66 chicken nuggets.
Tell us, does your toilet suffer from skid marks?
Colin McEnroe: I’m not sure toilets can suffer. But if they do suffer, that raises the question of whose fault it is. Is there something wrong with the way the mark-maker poops? (Bad angle?)
I’m dodging the question.
Professor Toilet: It can happen in the best of families when they are stuck with the worst of toilets.
Finally, you say your show is about “Giving you something new to laugh about in your car and talk about over dinner.” Will you make an exception on the dinner thing for this topic?
Colin McEnroe: My recommendation would be that this topic should be resolved, one way or another, in the car.
Listen live today at about 1:20 ET for Colin McEnroe and James Walsh to continue the toilet talk.
The Virtually “Child Proof” Champion 4 Toilet by American Standard
Posted by: | CommentsFriday is a good day for a video about kids who are fascinated by toilets.
Plumbers Who Get It: “Don’t Hire the Plumber with his Pants on the Ground”
Posted by: | CommentsLeave it to a plumber to make Professor Toilet laugh out loud. (The Professor does not LOL.)
Anderson Plumbers of San Diego does a great You Tube video that cracks wise about plumber butt cracks…and other customer service no nos:
Anderson Plumbers was San Diego’s first licensed GreenPlumber®. A shout out to our friends at GreenPlumbers USA for letting us know about this clip.
Mandy Moore Fights For The World’s Right To Clean Water | PerezHilton.com
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Perez Hilton has American Standard water saving toilets on his website.
The toilets’ brush with celebrity, so to speak, was thanks to the clean water advocacy work of Mandy Moore and Alexandra Cousteau, that included Congressional visits on March 23. More on on Moore, Cousteau and water at PerezHilton.com.
More coverage for World Water Day activities of Moore and Cousteau.
Mandy Moore, Alexandra Cousteau, Toilets | Celebrity-gossip.net
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At the World’s Longest Toilet Queue today in Washington D.C. as part of World Water Day activities. More about the American Standard involvement in an earlier post.
Learn more: Mandy Moore | Celebrity-gossip.net.
More images of toilets taking on Capitol Hill in this album on the American Standard Facebook Page.
Hot Super Bowl Action
Posted by: | CommentsAs if the Professor would let such a punderful opportunity go by:
Celebrating World Toilet Day – The Big Squat
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You may have thought the Professor was kidding about doing the Big Squat in honor of World Toilet day.
You would have been wrong.
One of our agency partners, Zeta Interactive, got into the mood big time:
The Big Squat from Zeta
While there’s nothing better than a bunch of creatives with a good toilet story, the Big Squat had a serious purpose: to help raise awareness for the 2.5 billion people who don’t have access to sanitation. Organized by the World Toilet Organization (the other WTO), donations to the cause are accepted here.
